Saturday, April 01, 2006

I miss you

...
Say you love me every waking moment,
turn my head with talk of summertime...
Say you need me with you now and always...
Promise me that all you say is true -
that's all I ask of you...
....
All I want is freedom,
a world with no more night...
and you, always beside me,
to hold me and to hide me...
....
Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime...
say the word and I will follow you...
Share each day with me, each night, each morning...
Say you love me...
- that's all I ask of you...
Anywhere you go let me go too...
Love me
- that's all I ask of you...




I miss everything. It has been one and a half month, the longest time that i've ever experienced being far away from you. I remember how bad i had felt when you went to Brunei or Taiwan for OCS training. But those times were only for one month. Sometimes I feel proud of myself for being strong and that I've got this far, though it's only a baby step in this long long journey that we have to go through, but every journey starts with one baby step.

I miss you much. I miss tapping my hand on your face, and squeezing your cheeks so that you'd look like Tweetie Bird. I miss hanging around Esplanade watching soccer, eating cup corn (my favorite). I miss playing the 1, 2, 3, 4 game with our thumbs, you're so pro and i always lost cos i'm blur and slow. I miss watching the beautiful fireworks and the incidence that i was (as you said so mischievious and smart) saying something that you completely couldn't comprehend what on earth i was talking about (this is a secret between us, i know you 'admire' my mischief hahaha).



I miss you a lot. I miss all your funny expressions, some of them are requested by me like "do you think you can act out a 'bitchy' face like the way Rayner do?" You would say "huh? so paiseh, ask me to make 'bitchy' face" but still act out to please me. I miss the way you can imitate all kind of voices or noices so well, a news reporter, an Australia interviewer, a puppy, a dog. I miss all your answers to my questions, last time weimin and Daph laughed at me at the airport for asking you silly questions do you still remember? somehow you always have an answer to my every enquiry, even if you don't know, you will just cook up a reasonable reply that you know i'll accept it anyway, and you've never been irritated with me for asking you all the questions on earth.
me: why is this song so stupid? the person only sings 'mami wo yao $, mami wo yao $?
you: erm.. it shows the emotion of the teenager and what he is going through.
me: okie, sounds good
... and continued listening to the song.
another time...
me: why are you going away, is it just for your own self?
you: no, it's for both of us
me: okie
and yet another time...
me: why are they not showing the movie here?
you: look at me ah, look carefully ah.
me: *look at you attentively, waiting for an answer*
you: do i look like i'm the owner of the cinema?
you, me: hahaha

I miss the way you always encourage me to study hard for exams, but always bring me out during weekends to watch movies cos you say i deserve a break. i miss all your surprised flowers and cards, those that never fail to brighten up my days. I miss the way you lift me up off the ground and swing me around like i'm your little brother.

I miss marching with you along the road, the Chinese way is different from the Singaporean way. I miss cycling along east coast at night (the lazy me just sit behind) and that super steep road near your house which i thought it feels like flying everytime you cycle downslope.

So many other things that i miss, sometimes it hurts missing somebody or something too much. I, or rather, we still have a very long journey ahead... I really miss you a lot... but i know i can make it through no matter what, i will definitely make it.

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