Paris

so my friend has left for Paris.

It reminded me so much of the time when you left. looking at them and i really cried, just that it wasn't accompanied with those loud hiccups. (too paiseh to cry so loud also)
Is the airport's departure hall the saddest place in the world? For a lot of people, it isn't. But for certain persons, it is the place where they hug and cry, the place where one looks through that glass door feeling empty.

You won't start crying before the other enters that glass door, so i guess i should narrow down my statement. It isn't the departure hall that is the sad place, don't we laugh and smile and joke before boarding time? it is that door. The thick glass door that only allows passengers to enter, that separates the 'stays' and the 'departs', that you say your quick goodbyes, you hug, you cry, and you hold the person's hands just to let go in a few seconds... and you are filled with a sense of emptiness..

Come on, it's just a short trip, half a year, 1 year? time will fly. but before it can really fly, there is an inevitable feeling of being lost. That is also the time when you realise how much the person means to you. It is strange how we need distance to show us how really important our loved ones are, even though day in day out we know that they are super important to us.

I empathise with my friend and her bf. Perhaps they must be feeling as horrible as how i used to being parted for a year. It's always very hard for the 'stays', but i guess it isn't that easy for the 'departs' either, even when new opportunities are awaiting for them in the new land.

To all the long-distance relationships in the world, i know true love will make it through, whatever comes along. Understand, have courage, be strong!

Kbox outing!!

These are some pictures from my outing.. we had a small picnic first then at around 11pm they suddenly decided to go Kbox, so off we went to Kbox (or is it KTV?) They will *punch* me for being so blur.. hahaha..
We got a big room for the 11 of us, sang until 3am. i drank 2 cups of hot honey lemon cos the room was super duper cold, and noone brought any jacket since it was straight after our picnic. I ended up hugging 2 school bags, while Nam Chi used guitar cover as blanket, and my friend next to me hugged....... newspaper.......


Let's start!

... on the bus...

... run run.. quick.. the green man is blinking!!!

.. hey, what time should we sing until? until they close?

....wow... so cold! freezing! good lighting!

....Let's sing "from a distance", we sang this together 7 years ago!

Drew these pix in 2001 mid of sec 4, which was already 5 years ago. I'm not sure who i missed at that time. An imaginary little prince that i had never met? In my pix, the girl is sending her prince away, to the war? to a place far far away? i'm not sure, i just know that they are parted, and that she is feeling really sad, so i drew the sadness in her eyes, but also gave them an inner strength so that she'll be able to wait for him to come back. It is that kind of feeling you have when you know your loved one must leave you, you are scared of being far apart, scared that something bad will happen to him, scared that he won't return, but you know that no matter what you will still wait for the day he comes back.




For a moment at that time, i wondered what would happen if i were to be in this girl's situation. Would i be miserable everyday or would i be strong? Imagine too much as always, but hey, i think what i had imagined about is not that different from what really happens in my life. I did have to ask myself this question unfortunately, or rather fortunately.

Do you believe that people meet because of fate, or what the vietnamese refer to as 'duyen phan' and the chinese refer to as 'yuan fan'? Is it fate that we've got the chance to meet good friends? and is it also fate that some people enter our lives to stay and some to walk away no matter how much we wanna keep them there?

Mr Popular "Ah Soh"

'Ah soh' really won the Mr Popular title! Thanks to my, Hong wei's and Hong wei's girlfriend's votes... hahaha.. we kept saying that he must have won by 3 votes.
It was fun to see another side of Wei Hong, John's OCS friend whom i usually refer to as 'ah soh'. Was trying hard to remember that his real name is Wei Hong during the pageant, if not, i would have cheered "Go Ah Soh!" during his performance and made him paiseh. Never did i imagine that he can dance on stage man and 'cat walk' hahaha... Bravo!

I love you Grandma

as i read 'chicken soup for the soul', it felt like the book was really healing my soul, gathering all the pieces which have scattered around since when the hospital 'suspected' that my dad had cancer (thank God that the specialist said that it wasn't cancer)and when i burnt the jossticks for my grandma. That old smily winkled face of her etched in my head and mind, never will it fade. i didnt say my last goodbye to her, i would never be able to. i didn't return soon enough and she couldnt wait.

The life of an international student, glamour, knowledge, eye opening experiences and all, but nothing comes free. It is too hard to believe that someone so dear to me has left me forever. The cold picture show her face looking at me, the same old look, but why did it seem so distant? she always said among all the grandchildren, i was the most stubborn girl, always liked to do things in my own way, but i cared for her cos i care to massage for her when she was tired (i used to dislike that job though), talked to her and entertained her.

her life was beyond my imagination, a life story that i thought would only exist in novels. Became an orphan at the age of 5, my grandma was sent to a rich family to be a maid, and during her time, being maids are actually close to being slaves. all the stories about the tortures from her little Missy and Mr that she had to endure since the age of 5 always make my blood boil, always thought that if i were to live at that time, i would rescure her out of that Cruella family. i dont know if my grandpa was the one who rescued her, she had never told me about how she got out of it.

stories about her can go on forever. but i dont like to be the one who tell them all. i miss my grandma. i miss knowing that she was there, that she was waiting for my next holiday to come.

sometimes i wish that i had returned earlier, that i had been able to send her away. but it is now all too late. knowing that it is just wishing in vain makes my heart sink. I tried to forgive myself for not knowing what was happening. A picture can paint a thousand words, but even a thousand pictures cannot pain one's feelings. Good nite Grandma! I love you.