To Kiki

It's the unspeakable pain of knowing that i will not be able to see Kiki again, despite the fact that John assured me i will see him when i go to heaven, Kiki will be waiting for me there, but it's just not the time yet. I had him when i was a kid and he was a baby little puppy. I love him and I'm sure he knew that for he had never once forgotten me, even though after knowing me for 4 years, he only got to see me the most twice a year for the next and last 8 years of his life.

My Kiki was the cutest puppy in town and he grew up to be the most handsome dog i've ever known. But no one lives forever... does forever have a meaning at all then? I remember how the girls in 'Little House on the Prairie' were so devastated when their dog, Jack, died. But when i watched that episode, though i cried, i had never thought that i would have to experience those feelings in real life, i had never imagined that my dog would have to die one day, i had never pictured how it felt like losing Kiki, i had never known it would be million times more painful than watching Jack die in the show. For a moment, i thought it was just a nightmare, but i couldn't wake myself up. I wanna wake up, i wanna get myself out of it, i wanna live in the old world where Kiki would be awaiting my arrival this weekend... his big tail would be waggling in the air... Don't fall asleep Kiki...